This is why

The world is asleep

And my thoughts are conflicting,

There’s no way to tell if they’re true

Or are fleeting.

My mind is opposing

Dualities are creeping

Up on my few hours

I shouldn’t be thinking.

Your eyes on me are

Burning my skin, I

Feel the heaviness of your gaze

Setting in.

The long cold embers inside

Are awakened,

My breath is unseasoned and

Steadily increasing.

I beg to be touched,

But my past keeps me planted

A foot from the

Fiery contact I’m seeking.

The distance reminds

Me of what I have waiting,

But why should we keep it from letting us

Teem and crawl inside of the orb of the new?

I never knew I would find that in you.

Still, what if I’m wrong and you’re

Only a season, in my life

Free from all lasting reason?

What if I lose what I’ve had all along,

And what if my face is all you have drawn?

How can I live with

Myself if I turn out to,

Be just a waste, that you learn of

Another evil inside of

The thoughts that conflict?

I never want to be something you miss.

Written September 21, 2010. Alaina Perez.

Saturday

Frayed edges wear and tear,

One thread exposed

Is a threat to the others.

Grab the end and pull,

Unravel them all to see what’s left.

Musky scented rooms are empty,

Objects within start to fade,

One

By

One they move back

To the most hidden corners of my memory.

Your face is like a puzzle,

Only not all the pieces fit,

Colors lose their luster,

Blend to make one tone unnamable.

I am cold.

The length of time is unsettling,

I grapple with the idea

Of a continuous loss,

Struggling to hold onto the

End

Of your voice cracked

And shrill

I still hear it.

The one thread materializes,

My needle sharp and skilled

Begins to sew back together

As best as it can,

The frayed edges of a picture.

Hiding beneath my work

My trembling begins to subside,

Warm again I reminisce

Until once more,

A loose end

Catches my eye.

Written March 2010. Alaina Perez.