My dearest ______,

Oh, oh, oh, predictable you,

Did exactly what you wanted to.

Played the part, kept eyes open wide

And vacant, a mind void of all device.

Always shocked at others’ callous,

Made skeptical by your blatant lack of

Normal flaws and normal character,

Now I know that is the safer

Route to travel down with you,

You, mediocre clown, you

Really thought that I of all

Wouldn’t see through the mirrored ball

Of planted lines and too forced scenery?

The glaring false and too green greenery

Of every look and word and move?

Oh, oh, oh predictable you.

Written October 26, 2010. Alaina Perez.

Sleepy Hollow

A woman alone in nature

Is a curious thing.

All guards come down,

Original thought goes up the

Abounding hills overrun with life.

The blanket I lay on

Seems the only division,

Human soul meets Mother’s soil

In the only natural unity.

A woman alone in nature

Is bound to feel small,

Until an ant across her paper

Brings full conciousness of her shell.

The wind blows beneath my clothes and,

Yet, my body is unresponsive,

While my mind is running

Up and down these mounds.

A woman alone in nature,

Has lost her sense of self.

She’s sent it away for a short while,

So I can breathe again.

Written October 7, 2010. Alaina Perez.

Opening Night

Standing at the edge

Of a decision looming in,

Swaying back and forth

I feel myself give in.

I recognize the faces

And costumes I must wear,

A chest stocked full of traces

Of who I was back then.

I step into my role,

And assume the act expected,

Repeat the same discourse,

Still, fall short on lines corrected.

Receive the same applause,

Reject the same critiques.

Look past all the same flaws

Fall into the part I left behind.

My vision returns slowly,

I’m still standing at the end

Of the stage where you sit waiting,

Will I stay, or will I bend?

Written October 5, 2010. Alaina Perez.

This is why

The world is asleep

And my thoughts are conflicting,

There’s no way to tell if they’re true

Or are fleeting.

My mind is opposing

Dualities are creeping

Up on my few hours

I shouldn’t be thinking.

Your eyes on me are

Burning my skin, I

Feel the heaviness of your gaze

Setting in.

The long cold embers inside

Are awakened,

My breath is unseasoned and

Steadily increasing.

I beg to be touched,

But my past keeps me planted

A foot from the

Fiery contact I’m seeking.

The distance reminds

Me of what I have waiting,

But why should we keep it from letting us

Teem and crawl inside of the orb of the new?

I never knew I would find that in you.

Still, what if I’m wrong and you’re

Only a season, in my life

Free from all lasting reason?

What if I lose what I’ve had all along,

And what if my face is all you have drawn?

How can I live with

Myself if I turn out to,

Be just a waste, that you learn of

Another evil inside of

The thoughts that conflict?

I never want to be something you miss.

Written September 21, 2010. Alaina Perez.

Saturday

Frayed edges wear and tear,

One thread exposed

Is a threat to the others.

Grab the end and pull,

Unravel them all to see what’s left.

Musky scented rooms are empty,

Objects within start to fade,

One

By

One they move back

To the most hidden corners of my memory.

Your face is like a puzzle,

Only not all the pieces fit,

Colors lose their luster,

Blend to make one tone unnamable.

I am cold.

The length of time is unsettling,

I grapple with the idea

Of a continuous loss,

Struggling to hold onto the

End

Of your voice cracked

And shrill

I still hear it.

The one thread materializes,

My needle sharp and skilled

Begins to sew back together

As best as it can,

The frayed edges of a picture.

Hiding beneath my work

My trembling begins to subside,

Warm again I reminisce

Until once more,

A loose end

Catches my eye.

Written March 2010. Alaina Perez.